My instructions

Dear Jamie

What a lovely name you have, my son. If anyone were to tell you it is funny or that it is a girl's name, you tell them straight back that it is a very noble name, with a deep religious meaning. It was chosen not flippently and Daddy was indeed lucky to have come across it. You will always be Jamie to me, my son.

Today may be the last time I see you for a while. When we next meet, you may not even recognise me. We both may look very much different with the passing of the years. And when we meet, your thoughts may already have been shaped by those around you as to what I am. Nonetheless, today is significant because we hugged, and I kissed you with my heart. Do you remember me looking at you for a while because Daddy said I wanted to remember your face - and you smiled! I wouldn't feel hurt if you could not remember what I looked like, my son - what is important is that I have you in my heart all the time. I will lock away in my heart all the times we have spent together, and the most recent memory is when you smiled and laughed when I brought you to the skateboard park last night. You may not remember this but we had a whale of a time, looking at a 26yr old kid going up and down the professional ring, flying up right in front of us. You also showed me the little scrape you had on your right knee, when you fell down the Baycourt slope - and you bravely did not cry until you got back to the house! My brave boy!

My son, when you choose, you must choose carefully. There is little wisdom in the making of the choice but you have to be careful. Nothing is ever what it seems and you must look and then think. Daddy has made only one bad choice in his life and try as you must, you must not do the same. Choose someone whom is obedient, clever, sensible and most importantly, must love you and want to form a family with you. You and her must now be the family that makes everything else secondary. On your part, you must give everything to your new-found family, and every choice you make must be for the good of your new family and your children. Together with your wife, you will have to make choices - some will not be easy to make but as long as you think long and hard about them, they will be the right choices. Never be tempted by short term gains - your children will live long and you must think beyond your lifetime for them.

Children are a blessing. You are the best. My joy was beyond words when you emerged from the womb and I was crying when I put my face next to yours at the ward. I remember you moved your arms and whimpered - the loud crying is movies stuff - and my heart burst with joy. You will experience this and when you do, you will know what I mean, my son. You will always be my first-born and have pride of place in my heart, always.

Respect is a word that is easily mouthed but hardly given. You must respect the earth, and your home; and by extension, every where you go. When you are a guest, you must behave like one, and be even more cautious of your behaviour. Even if it were something you would do in your home, desist. If you fail to show respect, you will only reflect on me - because blame always goes to the parents for the failings of the son. Even if free rein is given, never take it. Daddy never has and is always mindful that I am the guest. We are the guest of the earth, and you must leave it in a tidy state for your children. No one is perfect my son, and should you fail and be chastised, Daddy will always love you and forgive.

Do you remember Daddy always telling you to play with everything, touch and explore? This is the only way you learn. And you have to eat well so you grow up big and strong.

Will you forgive Daddy for the times I was not there? Is it enough that I have you in my heart? There is too much to tell of my absence and time will dim everything. Even if you choose to ignore Daddy when we next meet, I will feel hurt on the outside but my seeing you will re-fill my heart with joy. It is my wish to lead you, Mommy, all as a family on Judgement Day; and when I hold your hand then, I hope you will smile at me again just like in the skateboard park, and today. Together, we will face God's judgement and I will answer confidently for everything, with you by my side listerning. And so I hope will you; and hence, we must be good people from now on. This is my wish and instruction for you, my son.

Your ever-loving father

Daddy