TCH

Jamie's not with me at this time. There is an in-house alarm system where I live, simple yet effective because it's noisy and tells me who's coming and going. As I lay in bed now, I hear the alarm and wonder if it's Jamie and that he's finally home. I've been hearing the alarm all day.

How can the feelings of anguish, hurt, wanting, of a father be described? It was right before my eyes all my life and I had only to see.

My father worked hard to provide for his family. He was never the lovey kinda of guy and I have never known him to hold me. Infact, I remember more of the times he would discpline me more than anything. Because he is not one to show his feelings, there is awarkardness whenever there is a soft moment. I try not to be like that with Jamie. But I know my father loves me. I know because I hear it from the most unlikely sources. There was the time when a relative told me how proud my father was that I gained admission to the top school. There was also the other time when someone said my father was glad I was beginning to put in industry in my studies.

But nothing tops it more than when I hear it from the tire-shop guy. This is the guy that takes care of the cars for the entire family; he's been doing so for some 20 years now. A few years back when I went round to change tires, he asked about my father and causally remarked that he no longer changes his tires every year. This was in spite of the family car being extremely low mileage. My father would change his tires and battery on the eve of our school exams because he had told the shop "nothing must stop him from sending us for our exams"

I think back and this is the true measure of a father's love. The feeling in my heart was right before my eyes all these years.