Teaching my boy how to cry

It's clear to everyone that I do not like whining, and by that extension, crying. I mean it's fine if it's a baby but beyond a certain age, it's symptomatic of somthing that's not right. More so when it's excessive and attention seeking or simply to get one's way. To me, at least, it shows an inability to solve and deal with problems, an inability to stomach it and get on with it.

Obviously Jamie doesn't know all of this, just that he should not be crying excessively. To his credit, he's no cry baby and he does stomach it pretty well. He even proudly proclaims to me after an episode where other kids would be brawlling (or sobbing) that "daddy, you know I did not cry".

We were playing soccer in his room last night. Nothing big, just a dad kicking a ball to his son, and his son kicking it back. Kicking about and having fun. My father played a version of this with me when I was Jamie's age now and I was very glad I was doing this with Jamie. He slipped and he fell. His hands came in front of him to shield his face but it somehow was not adequate and he hit his forehead on the ground. He was a little stunned and he held his forehead for just a flash. He looked at me with one hand on his forehead and his face changed. The fall hurt and he wanted to cry. I was surprised that he was hurt because I thought his hands had protected him and so I had a look of surprise; certaintly there was no look of disapproval. In the time it took to blink, my brave boy declared he was not going to cry and the pain was no longer. He started smiling again but I knew he took it all inside.

My heart broke. The "no crying" obviously got drummed into him so well that he did not think it was correct to cry anymore, on any occasion. I could only hug him and tell him it's ok to cry as well. Because I was crying inside.